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Hi Reader,

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Years ago I led an information management team. There was one team member, let’s call him John, who I struggled to connect with.

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John came across as a bit of a know-it-all. He talked a lot, didn’t appear to listen well, and I quietly typecast him as your stereotypical arrogant IT guy. I respected his skills but found him hard to connect with, and truthfully, I didn’t try that hard.

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But then something changed. I had decided to try a new practice with the team, something to help us get to know each other better, to build more connection and trust. My goal was for each member of the team to increase their empathy and understanding for each other. I didn’t expect it to change me as much as it did.

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When it was John’s turn to share, he told us that he had grown up in the foster care system and had been in 10 different families before he turned 18. After aging out, he was homeless for two years. I’d worked alongside John for two years and had no idea.

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Hearing his story completely shifted the way I saw him. The things I’d labeled as arrogance began to look more like self-protection. His interruptions? Maybe his way of trying to be heard in a world that often hadn’t listened to him.

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I saw John more clearly - as a resilient, thoughtful, uniquely gifted person. And maybe he began to see me differently, too. Our relationship changed. We built mutual respect, deeper trust, and genuine connection. And it started with one story.

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Why Our Stories Matter

High-performing teams aren’t just built on flashy strategy and well-managed scorecards, they’re built on trust. And trust is largely built through connection.

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When we hear someone’s story, it breaks down assumptions and builds empathy. We begin to understand not just what someone does, but why they do it. That understanding lays the foundation for psychological safety, where team members feel seen, respected, and free to contribute without fear.

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Connection shouldn’t be something we get around to if there’s extra time - it’s essential to building a high-performing team. Research shows that teams with strong trust communicate more effectively, collaborate more openly, and recover from conflict faster. They’re more resilient, more creative, and more aligned. But you probably don’t need a study to tell you that. Just think about a team you’ve been on where you went the extra mile. Chances are, it’s because you felt seen, valued, and supported and your teammates did too.

A Simple Practice: Share the Story of How You Got Here

One of the most powerful ways to build trust on a team is also one of the simplest: make space for people to share the story of how they got to your team.

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You can run this as a recurring practice in your team meetings. Once a month, give one team member 10 minutes to share their journey, not just their career path, but the life moments, turning points, and motivations that brought them to this role.

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Here’s a simple structure to guide the practice:

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• Set the tone. The team leader (or whoever is hosting) can remind the group that this is about connection, not performance. Curiosity and listening are key. Also, the team should be free to use any format they want. If they want to create slides, great. If they want to share a picture, awesome. If they just want to talk from their heart with no visuals, also great.
• Offer a prompt. Ask the storyteller to reflect on moments that shaped them: pivotal decisions, personal challenges, meaningful influences, or unexpected detours.
• Hold space. During the 10 minutes, let the speaker share without interruption. Afterward, invite a few reflections or appreciations.
• Keep rotating. Build this into your monthly team rhythm so everyone gets the opportunity over time.
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It’s simple, but powerful. You’ll be surprised what you learn, and how it reshapes the way you work together.

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We would love to hear from you if you have questions about how to do this with your team. We would also love to hear practices you have tried that have led to deeper connections on your team. Just respond to this email with any questions or ideas you have.

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- Shaun & Joe
​www.6levers.co​

Get the 6 Levers Book

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