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Hi Reader,

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Opening up challenging conversations in a team setting can feel risky. You wonder how people will react. You’re not sure if you’ll be able to navigate the tension or complexity. What if it makes things worse?

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These are valid concerns. In our experience, many leaders share them. Sometimes it's a fear of people's feelings being hurt. Sometimes it's a fear that you won’t be able to find alignment on a complex issue with a diverse range of perspectives. When this fear is in the driver seat, an unspoken agreement forms: we’ll save the real talk and complex issues for one-on-ones.

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It feels safer and more controlled. But when all tough conversations are confined to one-on-ones, the cost can be steep. Team meetings become status updates instead of spaces for collaboration and calendars fill up with redundant conversations.

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Yes, one-on-ones still matter, but not as the default container for everything complex or sensitive.

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The Potential Downside Of One-on-Ones

One-on-ones aren’t inherently the problem, but what we expect them to achieve is. Poorly run one-on-ones don’t just waste time, they can actually harm team cohesion. If you are using one-on-ones as your primary way to communicate and collaborate, here are some potential risks you might face:

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• Information silos: When key updates or decisions happen only in private meetings, the rest of the team is left out of the loop.
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• Avoided accountability: Feedback that should be shared with the group is hidden in one-on-ones, weakening shared ownership and peer accountability.
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• Over-dependence on the manager: If everything flows through the one-on-one, team members may feel disempowered to engage each other directly.
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• Team meetings lose their substance: If all hard conversations are reserved for one-on-ones, team meetings become surface-level and status-driven.

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But, with the right design, they can have a big impact.

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When used intentionally, one-on-ones are a valuable space to build trust, focus on growth, and support individual team members. They can:

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• Help team members feel seen and supported
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• Create space for feedback, both ways
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• Support growth and development
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• Deepen trust and connection between manager and team member
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But these outcomes don’t happen by accident. They require preparation, curiosity, and a shared understanding of purpose.

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Start by asking: What is the real objective of this time?

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Here are some principles and practices to help reframe one-on-ones:

• Start with shared goals: Clarify what both people want to get out of the time. Growth? Alignment? Support?
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• Create a structure: Use a standing agenda, for example:
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  • Personal check-in: Get to know each other in an authentic way, focusing on things outside of work.
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  • Notice and affirm: Where can you deepen connection and trust through helping them to feel seen in ways that feel more meaningful when its just you and them?
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  • Feedback and development: Consider both near term and long-term development.
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• Make it mutual: This isn’t just time for the team members to share. Building connection and trust by sharing both ways.
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• Balance with team practices: Ensure that one-on-ones don’t become the only space where real talk happens. Use team retrospectives, feedback sessions, or issue processing to build shared accountability.

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The Bottom Line

Don’t eliminate one-on-ones, but don’t let them carry too much weight of your team’s communication and collaboration.

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Build the safety and structure to bring more meaningful conversations into the team setting, where alignment and trust can grow. This is especially important for executive teams.

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If your team is ready to rethink how you meet, collaborate, and lead together, we’d love to help.
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Our Leading Together program helps teams build better habits and healthier communication…together.

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Let us know if you want to learn more.

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- Shaun & Joe
​www.6levers.co​

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