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Hi Reader,

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Meet Didi, a leader who gives everything she has to her team until there’s nothing left to give.

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In Episode 6 of Netflix’s The Man on the Inside, we watch as Didi, the director of a retirement community in San Francisco, moves through a relentless day. One staff member after another comes to her with problems they’ve been conditioned to believe only she can solve:

• The restaurant is out of salt shakers.
• The Wi-Fi is down.
• The leader of the resident council is demanding her time.
• The Activity Coordinator wants to catch up.

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Then, just as she’s handling it all, the real weight of leadership crashes down. One of the residents in their retirement community has passed away.

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Didi steps up like a superhero, juggling every crisis, every request, every responsibility alone. After informing the entire team about the death of the resident, she crawls under her desk, puts on ocean sounds, and shuts the world out. Under her desk is a picture of her deceased mom (which seems to comfort her), so we get the idea this is something she does regularly to cope with stress.

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This is what leading alone looks like. It’s exhausting. It’s isolating. And it’s unsustainable.

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But there’s another way. Leading Together. In an alternative reality, it could look like this:

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Instead of running to Didi for every minor issue, her team would have clear decision-making authority and trust in each other to act. The kitchen staff wouldn’t ask her about salt shakers because they’d have a system for replenishing supplies themselves. The Wi-Fi issue wouldn’t fall on her lap because someone would already be designated to call the provider and troubleshoot the problem. And when devastating news about the passing of a beloved resident struck, Didi wouldn’t have to carry the emotional weight alone. Her team would rally together, offering support to each other, to the staff, and to the grieving community.

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Instead of crawling under her desk, headphones on, drowning in exhaustion, she could take a breath, knowing she wasn’t leading alone. It would still be hard, but she would have confidence she could take on the next big challenge she faced, because she wouldn’t have to face it alone.

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When you consider the story of Didi, ask yourself, are you closer to leading alone or Leading Together? If you feel closer to leading alone than Leading Together, we would love to talk. Just reply to this email if you want to connect with us and learn more about our program to build a high-performing Leadership Team.

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To shared leadership,

—Shaun and Joe

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